Garu's Week of Doom!
by garumadness
Summary: It stinks to be Garu. But when Garu finds a chain of events that give him the worst week ever, his life spins out of control. Pucca's, however isn't any easier, we she sold the world to aliens! Everyone from Gura to Tobe, this story has it all!
1. Garu Hungry Food Now!

**Chapter 1: The Nightmare Begins**

**Hi! It's me, garumadness! It's time someone wrote a story of insanity featuring all of your favorite Pucca characters! It's my pleasure to introduce the wonder, the awesomeness, the **_**MADNESS**_** of: "Garu's Week of DOOM!"**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pucca. Vooz does. If I did Garu would be everywhere. It's time I use my lazy but to make one heck of a story for FanFiction, I am! A fair warning however, this story contains violence, mild language, annoying kids, and other stuff. So that's up to you! Rate my story positive, okay? Thanks! -drum roll- BAM!**

One quiet misty day through the mountain tops of a small Chinese island laid a small humble village. Through a silent, unpaved avenue a boy in his early teens walks. But this is no ordinary boy. His name is Garu. He is a ninja in training, dedicated to restoring his family's lost honor. But, this day in particular, he was faced with an extremely important obstacle.

'_Hmmm…I'm hungry',_ he thought. Everybody in the village of Sooga knew the best place to go when you're out and hungry. He turned around to face the Goh Whrong noodle restaurant, said to have the best noodles in possibly the world. He had about $7.00 worth of yen in his pocket. _'That ought to be enough for a bowl of noodles!' _he thought. He opened the gem studded doors to go inside… and he couldn't believe what he saw!

"**PUCCA?!" **he screamed. Pucca, the niece of the three chefs/owners was there at the door, in a beautiful dress, waiting for him inside. You see, Pucca loves Garu like the sky is blue. True. True is blue. She always pounces upon him during training, and BOY, does he hate it. But… some might even say he loves her back. But something more important than a summary was happening.

"Duh, it's me!" she answered. "So are you gonna let out the heat or come in?" she said playfully.

'_Now that's service with a smile,'_ he thought, _'a creepy smile!'_ So she showed him to his seat. Dada, the waiter came to his table. He said in his usual nervous voice, "what'll you have, Garu?"

"I'd like a bowl of Ja-Jang noodles, thanks," Garu answered.

5 minutes later, there was a bowl of hot, delish noodles in front of him. After the nice lunch (and the bill), he headed into the misty streets once more. But soon, he noticed something that frightened him. _'Someone's following me!' _he thought. Garu pulled his sword out of his sheath to turn around and find Abyo! Even though Garu and Abyo are best buds, they still have training battles. "Hey Garu!" he yelled. "Wanna fight?"

"No." said Garu.

"Oh well!" replied loud mouth Abyo. He tore of his shirt and yelled "**HI-YAAAAAH!!!**" at the top of his lungs. He pulled out his lucky pair of nun chucks and they fought, fought, fought. Abyo knocked Garu's sword out of his hand as he tried to force the nun chucks into Garu's face. But just in time, Garu shoved the nun chuck in Abyo's mouth. Abyo looked hilarious. Garu started to laugh uncontrollably while Abyo clutched something in his mouth after spitting out the nun chuck. "You knocked out my tooth!" he said in shock as his gum bled.

"Dude! I'm so sorry!" Garu said as he rushed over to help.

"No, it's perfectly fine!" he said and confused Garu. "This was my last baby tooth!" Garu and Abyo looked at the bloody tooth that had just come out of Abyo's mouth.

"OOH!" said Garu. "I heard people get paid extra for their last tooth!"

"Thanks!" said Tobe as he jumped out of the bushes and grabbed it and ran off with it. "What the hell?!" yelled Garu. Tobe was Garu's worst enemy, who always tries to destroy Garu, but Garu and Pucca always ruin it. "With the money this tooth will get me, I can finally buy the last part I need for the machine I'm building to destroy Garu!" he said as the tripped over Garu's foot. "I was just going to return it, yes! Return it!" he said wearily on the ground.

That night, Garu noticed something back at his house. "Augh!" he said in frustration. I left my cell phone at the Goh Whrong!"

"Well, then, go get it!" his little brother Gura suggested.

Garu made his way across town and into the Goh Whrong. But right when he picked up his phone he turned around and screamed at the ominous figure behind him!

**From garumadness: Dun Dun Duuuuuuuuuuuun! Will Garu escape the ominous mystery person? Dunno. Well, wish I could write more, but it's iPod time! ****! L8R!**


	2. The Phone Gets Ya Killed

**Chapter 2: That Is the End of a Perfect Day**

**Heeeelllooooo… where we last left off Gru had returned to get his cell phone at the empty Goh Whrong in the middle of the night when he was cornered by a mysterious figure! Fine, I'll stop boring you with my awesomeness and get on with it!**

"Stay back!" Garu shouted as he pulled out his sword. As he was about to slash the figure to the ground, the figure stepped into the moonlight and Garu recognized a familiar face. To his shock, it was…Pucca! "Pucca?!" Garu said in disbelief.

"Who were you expecting?" she said.

"What're you doing?" Garu asked.

"Well, I was busy masturbating myself upstairs, when I heard some knocking around downstairs. I grabbed my barrel gun, but decided that wouldn't be necessary. So I sneaked down the stairs to find you here. Just be happy the alarm didn't detonate, or you'd be ninja roast by now!"

"So that's cum dripping out of your pajama pants!

She motioned for him to look up to see a large cauldron of hot oil above him connected to a laser tripwire right below the entrance way.

"Isn't that a bit extreme?" Garu asked, freaked out a bit.

"You say extreme, I say … er, uh… not extreme!" Pucca replied confidently.

"Right," Garu said. He hurried to make sure that Pucca wasn't following him. "Well?" he yelled on his way out.

"Well what?" se replied.

"Aren't ya gonna chase me?" he asked.

"Garu, that's daytime. I got to sleep, if I'm gonna deliver food aroud town tomorrow."

"'kay, later!" he said as he walked back to his house.

He walked into his house to find Gura looking at him suspiciously. "How'd it go flirting, mister macho man?" he said angrily. "What're you talking about?" Garu was confused. Gura held Garu's cell phone up in his face. "You didn't leave your phone at the Goh Whrong at all! You went over there just to talk to Pucca!" Gura continued.

"Wait, if that's mine," Garu said, "than this is―" Garu looked at the owner's personal information. "―this is _PUCCA'S!_"

"Ooooooooh… sorry about the false accusations," Gura said ashamed of himself.

"It's okay, but what's really important is returning this phone to Pucca without her ever noticing it's gone!" Garu said in a serious expression. Almost as soon as Garu finished speaking, the door busted down with Pucca on the porch.

"Too late," Gura uttered as he hopped under a pile of pillows, leaving only Garu standing in plain sight.

"Gimme my phone back, you thief!" she yelled. "You darn attractive, thief you!"

"Ugh!" Garu sighed as he muttered "it's been one of those days!"

Before he could defend his case, Pucca grabbed him and raised her fist.

**What will happen to Garu? I don't know! I really haven't thought of anything! So stay beautiful, people, and keep watching for Chapter 3! Until then… I'll uh…dunno, get a juice box or something?**


	3. Dissings and UFOs

**Chapter 3: The Epic Next Day of Stuff!**

**I'm back! Ready for my next chapter no? Well screw you! We last left of when Pucca was about to beat the semen out of Garu! If only she knew it was a mix-up. But where's the fun in that? Exactly. Just like there's no fun in long footnotes. So I'll cut the snot and get going with the story!**

"Why'd you take my phone?!" demanded Pucca. "Well?!"

"I thought it was mine!" Garu replied. After Garu explained the whole thing, Pucca decided not get so worked up over everything.

"Sorry about everything," Pucca said. "Can I have my phone back?" Garu reached into his pocket to hand it to her. Right as he was about to drop it into her hand, he missed. It crashed onto the floor and broke into multiple pieces beyond repair.

"Heh-heh, oops," he said nervously. Pucca's forehead red and her fists shook. She grabbed him by his shirt and _BAM!_

She socked him in the head, rendering him with a black eye.

But she dropped him on the floor, feeling ashamed at what she had done. "Who could stay mad at you?" she said.

"Just about anyone" came from a pile of pillows over in the corner.

She kissed him and said "sorry about that."

'_Gee, like that's gonna do anything!'_ he thought sarcastically.

After she walked out the door, Garu stood up just in time to see Gura jump out of the pile of foofy pillows. "Look who _finally_ shows up!" Garu yelled.

"Well sor-reeh! " Gura replied, annoyed. With that, they trotted of to their separate sleeping bags for a short 8 hours of light sleep.

That morning at the Goh-Whrong, Garu walks in rubbing his shiner to find a beautiful hand-made apology card in his usual seat. _"Thanks, Pucca,'_ he thought. Just then, Tobe and his best ninja lackey, Charlie, walked in. [I don't own Charlie. He belongs to EnigmaOfTheSoul on YouTube.]

"Hello again, Garu you worm!" insulted Tobe.

"Oh, go shove your face in an elephant's toilet," said Garu as he slurped his noodles.

"Oh, so ya wanna play dirty?" Tobe asked. Garu nodded silently. "Meet me in the village square this afternoon for a dissing contest at noon!" Tobe barked.

"I'll be there to beat your sorry ass, then!" said Garu.

"You got this in the bag, sir!" said Charlie.

"Oh, I don't think so," muttered Garu under his breath as the two ninjas left.

Meanwhile, upstairs, Ching, Pucca's BFF, was waiting outside Pucca's bedroom door. "You done 'making yourself happy' in there?"

"Yes!" answered Pucca from the other side of the door. But, when Ching entered, both of them screamed. Other than a blindfold, Pucca was completely naked!

"HEY! I wasn't dressed yet!" yelled Pucca.

"You said you were done!" Ching cried defensively.

"I never said I was dressed!" Pucca said angrily. "Gimme a minute!"

"Yeesh!" gasped Ching as she stomped out and shut the door behind her.

Later, Pucca and Ching couldn't erase the thought that Ching had caught her. "The only other person that saw me naked was Garu," said Pucca.

"What happened?!" gasped Ching.

"Well…" Pucca began to unravel the cum-covered incident, but right then something much more important was happening, for at that very moment, there was a strange object hurling through the Earth's atmosphere― towards Sooga Village!

Pucca was showing Ching this new series of trading cards called Mecha Chibis, these adorable Japanese animals with technological armor.

"Aw, they're so cute!" Ching said.

"Ya, I know!" Pucca agreed. But just then, they heard strange noises coming from the backyard. They headed out back to see. Right there, in broad daylight, was a shiny black UFO.

"Aliens!" they screamed. The two girls were paralyzed in fear as the hatched deployed with steam and a hissing noise. A small escalator engaged, as well. The girls watched in horror as two grotesque, biomechanical being stepped forward. One said, "Zortok, let's see what use we can make out of these primitive fools!"

**What will the aliens do to Pucca and Ching? Will Garu beat Tobe in a dissing contest? Why am I asking you all these questions? Well, ya know what they say: Don't know, don't care! Now, off with you heathens!**


	4. And So the Earth 'Twas Sold

**Chapter 4: UFOs and Dissing Contests**

**Hi, FanFiction peoples everywhere! Well, garumadnes is back with the next awesome chapter of Garu's Week of Doom! I'd better make this short, or you guys will develop rabies and bite me! In the last epic chapter, Pucca and Ching met aliens, and they don't seem friendly! Meanwhile, Garu and Tobe were going to have a diss-off to remember! Time to start with the chapter, I guess… DON''T BITE ME!!!**

"What do you want from us?!" Ching demanded, scared out of her wits.

"We are looking for extreme earthling ruler!" the second alien stated. The aliens had retractable horns, mechanical suits and one eye on each of them. They had curved, visible bones leading to their mouths, and symbols of their species on their uniforms. They had tentacles for feet, and the first had a robotic arm sprouting out of its chest, while the second had one coming out of its skull.

"The ruler of Earth?" Ching asked, confused.

"That would be me!" said Pucca confidently.

"What?!" Ching whispered loudly. "Pucca, what are you doing?!"

"Watch 'em do whatever I say!" Pucca said with a smile.

"I, Zortok, state that we are here… to take over your pitiful planet!" Zortok, the first alien, told them.

"What?!" Pucca screamed. "Why?!"

"Land disputes and mortgage opportunities," Arzamus replies. "Plus, we can set up real estate and banking companies over your small skyscrapers."

"Whatever you want, huh?" Ching said sarcastically to Pucca. Pucca just growled and said, "Sorry, but I can't let you do that."

"Stop making this difficult, or ready your pitiful planet for war!" Zortok threatened.

"Let's not jump to conclusions!" Pucca quickly interjected. "I will trade you the Earth for…" She spied a deck of Mecha Chibis in Arzamus's pocket. "…For Mecha Chibis!"

"You use Mecha Chibis too?" Arzamus asked.  
"As a matter of fact, we do!" Pucca said. "Let us have Cyber Cod, Super Cat, The Ultra-Rare Meta Bunny, Robot Hamster, and 3 Gate decks!"

"It's a deal!" Zortok shouted. Arzamus and Zortok handed off the cards.

"Our leaders will be most impressed!" Arzamus told Zortok.

"These hairless Nebula 96Z5I primates must use Mecha Chibis as currency!" They hopped into their ship and blasted off.

"A good trade, if I do say so myself!" Pucca said confidently.

"But then aggressive, war-obsessed aliens seize control of Earth," Ching interrupted.

"They're two, tiny aliens, and we'll let the government handle it if those two space creeps come back," Pucca reminded Ching.

"I hope you know what you're doing," Ching hoped aloud.

That afternoon, in the village square, Tobe looked around to locate his opponent. "Well?" he asked. "Where is he?"

"Right here!" Garu said behind him. A crowd gathered around them.

"Let's get this over with, I know you want to have sex with yourself as soon as possible!

The crowd went "OOOOOOHH!!"

"So that's how you want it to go down!" Garu muttered loudly. "Oh yah?" Garu asked. "You're so stupid, you climbed over a glass wall to see what's on the other side!" The crowd gasped.

Tobe came back with "Oh yah? You're so old and gross, your breath wiped out the dinos!"

"You're so hairy, it looks like you have the Sasquatch in a headlock!"

"You're so fat, you make Asia look like Hawaii!"

"You're so ugly, Medusa turned to stone when she saw you!"

"You're so hideous, you looked at the baby and it died!

"Your breath is so bad, you roast a chicken by breathing on it!"

"You're so fat, that when a school bus rolls by, you scream, 'TWINKIE!!!'"

"You're so stupid, you drank out of a toilet and dropped a duce in a wine glass!"

"You're so gross, you pee semen and poop dust bunnies!"

Garu had had enough with Tobe's crappy disses. He finnaly blew down Tobe with the ultimate diss. He shouted in his mightiest voice, "YOU'RE SO UGLY, THAT WHEN YOU LOOKED AT YOUR REFLECTION IN THE POND, THE WATER BURST INTO FLAMES!!!" The crowd was amazed. Tobe said, "Fine! You win!" He walked away, pissed out of his wits. The crowd disbanded, and Garu walked to the Goh Whrong to celebrate this victory.

Back at Garu's house, Gura was watching the news. There were UFOs spotted near Sooga Village. "Wonder what happened there," Gura told his cat, Mio. "Merow!" Mio replied softly. Little did they know the Earth was just sold for 125 trading cards.

**What will happen next? I don't know! I feel sick! Look for the next chapter! I have to stop now, I feel like I'm gonna― "!!!" Check out these cool symbols I found the insert bar: ** ۞۩

**Anyway, what happens to Pucca and Ching in the next chapter? I could care more about tonight's burgers!**


	5. The Morning From Hell

**Chapter 5: The Next Retarded Morning**

**Sorry it took me so long, folks! I took a huge break from FanFiction. I was **_**so**_** busy over the holidays! But now I can continue. We really didn't leave off at an exciting point. So let's just start the next day…**

Garu awoke on a tranquil summer morning. Birds were chirping, sun was pouring in through the window, Mio was atop his head, and Gura was snoring loudly. "Could you be quiet?" Garu asked sleepily. "Muma-fwuma ish ka bibble blabble…" Gura muttered.

Garu got up and made himself some green tea. "What a morning," he said to himself. "Everything is perfect." _CRACK!_ A piece of plaster fell on his head. "OW!" he yelled, rubbing his head. Garu grabbed a ladder and opened the roof access hatch. "What the hell's going on up here?" Garu asked angrily.

"I can explain!" Tobe said, sitting on the roof with a pickaxe.

"What're you doing to my house?!" Garu yelled.

"Trying to break in and steel your weaponry…" Tobe paused. "Though I'm not sure how well this was thought out."

"Heck ya!" Garu agreed.

"I did manage to steal something, however," Tobe boasted.

"What's that?" Garu asked impatiently.

"THIS!" Tobe held up a jar full of dirt. "Oh, no!" Garu exclaimed. "It's Gura's dirt farm!"

" I gotta a jar o' dirt! I gotta a jar o' dirt! I gotta a jar o' dirt! And guess what's inside it! !" Tobe sang.

"Give it back!" Garu yelled.

" I gotta a jar o' dirt! I gotta a jar o' dirt! I gotta a jar o' dirt! And guess what's inside it! !" Tobe continued, laughing between each verse. "Suck my cock!" Garu screamed as he leaped at Tobe, pushing him down. But Tobe was quick, and grabbed Garu's ankle, bringing Garu down with him. Tobe slid past the gutter, and off the roof. "AAAAAH!" he screamed. Garu grabbed hold his wrist. "Pull me up!" Tobe demanded.

"Sure, right after you hand over the jar o' dirt! "

"Oh I dropped that 10 seconds ago. Whoops!" Tobe admitted.

"What's going on up there?" Gura asked, with the jar in his hands.

"Oops!" Garu yelled as Tobe's wrist slipped from his grip. Gura caught him.

"Ew!" he said, and heaved Tobe in the trash.

"Gee, thanks kid!" Tobe muttered.

"No problem!" Gura sneered as he trotted inside.

Garu peered in the fridge. "How's about I heat up some Ja-Jang noodles?" he asked Gura.

"Sure!" Gura said as he licked his lipped. "I heard _Revenge of the Sith_ is on, if ya wanna watch it with me."

"No thanks! I gotta get to training this morning," Garu said.

"I'm here!" Garu exclaimed.

"Great!" Abyo replied. Garu was at Abyo's house, instead, playing rated M-A games. "GOOD GOD! 'DYOU SEE THE SIZE OF THAT BOOB?!" Abyo yelled one minute. "LOOK AT HIS JUGULAR FLESH COME SPILLING OUT OF HIS NECK!" Garu yelled another. Several hours later, the boys turned of their Xbox 360, their brains nearly fried. "That was awesome!" they both said in unison.

"Let's go grab some noodles," Garu suggested. On the way there, they bumped into Ching. "Hey, tootz!" Abyo said and whistled.

"What's up, Mr. Macho Man?" Ching answered, beginning to flirt. _'I don't have time for this!'_ Garu thought, listening to his stomach growling. Garu opened the doors of the Goh-Whrong just in time to see Dada, the clumsy waiter, trip on his foot and spill dirty dishes on Garu.

"Thanks a lot, Dada!" Garu said impatiently.

"Sorry!" Dada exclaimed.

"Well now I got all filthy for nothing!" Garu said as he walked to the bathroom. As Garu was washing off his face in there, he heard strange noises coming through the vent. "Who- who- who's there?!" he asked, unsheathing his sword.

"Don't you know it's bad to bring a sword to a resturaunt?" a familiar voice said through the vent. "Pucca?" Garu asked.

"Yep!" Pucca said hopping out of the vent.

"Wait! You're in the men's bathroom! Yuck!" Garu told Pucca.

"Good goosh-bags!" Pucca yelled. "Well, I'd better go find my cat hiding in the vents!" With that, she hopped in the vents and crawled away.

"…strange girl…" Garu thought aloud as he walked out of the bathroom.

"Hey Garu! What's up?" Garu turned around to see Ssoso, one of his best buds standing there. "Oh, hey, Ssoso!" Garu replied.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to try my newest idea," Ssoso told him. "I'm setting up a drink stand called: Chi-8! I have some here if ya wanna try it!"

"Sure!" Garu said. He sipped some and smiled. But then his fists clenched and his face drained of all color. His cheeks swelled, too.

Ssoso was standing outside the bathroom while gagging noises came from the bathroom. "Is it good?" Ssoso asked when Garu came out, all pale with saliva on his face.

"Ssoso," Garu replied, "the thing is when you make a recipe, to not kill the customer!"

"Thanks for the tip!" Ssoso said eagerly. "Now to shave my head and give away my PS3!" Flames and smoke shot out of his heels, while he shot through the ceiling. "Ssoso's pretty cool," Pucca said, walking behind Garu.

"Plus he can fly and flames shoot from his dick!" Garu said. "Speaking o' which, you done molesting yourself in the vents?" Garu asked as well.

"For your information, I did find Yani!" Pucca said, holding up her cat.

"Well I'm heading home!" Garu said. "What a rotten cock-ish morning!"

"Why don't you use you cock to fry greasy bacon?" Abyo said angrily. "Thanks for ditching me!" So Garu approached his front steps when a huge, smelly trailer broke down next to his house. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" Garu screamed as it almost crashed into his house. Out came Dooga, a young witch in her early twenties.

"Well," Dooga replied, "My trailer broke down I front of your house, so I guess new neighbors, handsome!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Garu screamed.

"What's goin' on?" Gura asked as he walked over.

"Dooga's our new neighbor!" Garu replied miserably.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" Gura screamed.

**Will this cause an epic neighboring feud?! I don't know, actually. I haven't thought of anything past this. But what I do know is that Chapter 6 is coming out soon, so keep checking! garumadness! ! Rate and review good!**


	6. The Beggining Of The End!

**Chapter 6: The Gianormous Gay-Tacular!**

**HOLY $h|+!!! It's time for my newest episode! FanFiction: "Where there's smoke, they pinch back!" YIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! This time it's gonna be great!!! So Dooga's truck was now in front of Garu's place. Now sit back, relax, and enjoy, before I get you's all in your sleeps!**

"Dooga, get away from my house." Garu was starting to get pissed off.

"What are ya gonna do about it?" Dooga sneered in a mocking voice. "Beat up a girl?"

"Oooooh! Gotchya there!" Gura said.

"Shut up, Gura, you're not helping!" Garu yelled. "As usual."

"Don't worry, Garu, I love a man who plays hard to get!" Dooga said.

"WAIT! Do you… like me?!" Garu yelped.

"Garu's already gotta girlfriend!" Gura defended.

"Not girlfriend, closer friend, if you're thinking of Pucca!" Garu muttered to Gura. "Look, Dooga," Garu sputtered. "If you like me, just say so."

Dooga blushed through her blackened tear marks. "Fine, Garu," she said softly. "The truth is, that I… kind of… like you."

"Well, too bad!" Garu smirked. "No way!" He said and tackled her.

"Dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit!" the young witch cried. They wrestled all over the property, Garu screaming between gasping― "GET OFF MY LAWN!!!"

"Not until I say so!" Dooga yelled as she punched Garu on the forehead. Garu was slapped around a lot, but this _really_ got him P.O. He slammed Dooga against the dashboard of her RV, and saw the problem: her engine was jammed. He threw Dooga on the floor and ran out with an emergency tool box, fixed the motor in some unorthodox way never known to our simple human minds, and her vehicle started up again… and drove off an inconveniently nearby cliff at speeds ranging around 120 miles per hour. Gura watched and flinched, as the vehicle toppled down pillars of stone into the warm, shimmery coastline water. "Aw, shit!' he yelled. Underwater, Garu awoke from shock and nearly sucked in water. '_Hurry hurry hurry!'_ he thought as he swam to the surface. He splashed out and grabbed hold of a nearby ledge, coughing like crazy, as he slowly sank into a deep, red haze.

Dooga was in the middle of the ocean, though. "Well, this is the end," she said, and prayed to demons. "Zeppelin rules!" she screamed, and made rock and roll hand signs, and sank. But then, she came up in a fishing boat. "What the hell?!" she cried. "Thank all that's Satanic," she yelped. "I'm spared!" She got dumped in a Chinese fishing boat off the coast of Honk Kong. "Boy, I owe you dudes big time!" she told the fishermen.

"我們應該怎麼辦她？ (What should we do with her?)" one of them asked.

"啊，讓我們她當作奴隸勞動者。(Ah, let's make her a slave laborer.)" another suggested. They all laughed, "哈哈哈哈哈哈！".

"Don't know what you're sayin', bet I bet it'll be great!" Dooga blurted.

"Ultimate vengeance!" cried Tobe at his base. "Finally, a way to get to Garu without that infernal Pucca getting in the way!" he said as he showed his lower-ranking ninja clan his blueprints. "Ooh!" they said.

"Okay," he said. "First step: DESTROY PUCCA!!!"

That night, after getting dressed, Pucca hopped into her bed. She started reading when she heard some shuffling outside. "IT MUST BE THOSE ALIENS!" she cried. But she peered out the window and there was nothing suspicious. "Oh, well," she said. "Might as well go to sleep," she said. _Only she didn't see the dark silhouette of an assassin swinging towards her window silently._ CRASH! Two elite assassin ninjas came flying in with mechanical arms and armor leaped in. "Oh son of a b―' one grabbed her mouth and arms, and another stabbed her in the gut! She lay on the ground, bleeding, as the two beasts hopped off into the night. Quickly losing blood, Pucca cried for help. The ninjas spoke into a headset.

"Objective number 1 terminated," one of them said in a dry voice.

"Excellent!" Tobe fed back. "Now, next target… Desroy Garu!"

**One of the few dramatic moments in my FanFic, so keep watching, and don't take crack! I've been waiting to make an epic moment epic win like this. But seriously, this was epic! Bye now! Shoo. GET THE **** OFF MY LAWN!!!**


	7. Tobe's Ultamite Evil Super FullAssed Pl

**Chapter 7: The Ultimate Plan**

**Ugh! I **_**HATE**_** typing these intros, but otherwise you simple human minds would be completely lost and deserted. Mmm… deserted! Anyway, last chapter, Pucca was stabbed by assassins, as Tobe's ultimate plan kicked into gear, and their next target was Garu!**

_Where…where am I?_ Pucca thought. She was too week to move. _Damn!_ She thought._ They were horrible!_

"She's coming to," a voice said. Everything was blurry, and she swore she might have pissed her pants. She looked down to see her stomach, covered in fresh, stained bandages. She recognized it that she was in her room. Her vision started to clear through all the haze, and she saw the chefs, who where her three uncles, and they were also her legal guardians. She also saw Dada. Also, there was an emergency medic.

The medic spoke traditional Chinese that Pucca couldn't understand. "她會很快好，她只需要休息，直至傷口癒合。(She'll be good soon, she just needs rest until the wound heals.)"

"Okay," her Uncle Ho said. (LOLz listen to his funny name)

"What happened?" Pucca asked, confused and tired.

"We found in here, bleeding and unconscious, with the window broken open," her Uncle Dumpling explained. "If it hadn't been for Dada on night duty hearing you screaming and waking us up, we might have never got to in time.

"Thanks," Pucca said to Dada, and they had a little fist-bop.

_Where…where am I?_ Garu thought. He was weak moved and stiff._ Damn! _She thought. _Dooga was horrible!_

"**There you are!!!**" a deep voice that sounded like multiple voices slowly said. Garu rubbed his tired eyes, and he saw a hideous, sharp-toothed monster beast with glowing red eyes with a stare boring right through him. "**I've been waiting for you, Garu!**"

"OH, CRAP!!!" Garu yelled at the top of his stiff lungs. "**Oh, relax, Garu it's —** only me!" Gura said as he peeled off his grotesque voice-changing mask.

"What happened?" Garu asked.

"Well, from the water you sucked in, you passed out on that ledge," Gura explained, "and you would have drowned, if Mio and I hadn't rescued ya."

"Merow!" Mio meowed from across the room, as Garu realized he was in his room, on his couch.

"Well, he said, at least tonight's troubles are over," Garu said. But just as he closed his eyes to go to sleep, there was a huge _CRASH!_ Two mechanical-looking ninjas (refer to the Demon Brothers from Naruto) came tearing through the front door. They had blood caked on their knife-like claws. Then' a flash grenade detonated. Through the mist emerged Tobe.

"Nice to see you, Garu, but not for long!" Tobe began, sinisterly, "but surely you expected me to amazingly corner you sooner or later! Don't hope for your little girlfriend to come swooping in and save your sorry ass this time!" he bragged. "I've seen to it that she'll never bug me again!"

"Har!" Gura chuckled. "She's your girlfriend!"

"Gura, hide!" Gura hopped out the window into a bush. "Augh! Rosebush!" he cried. "What did you do to her, you sick beast?!" Garu yelled angrily.

"Look at our telltale claws!" one ninja said in a deep, mechanical voice through a thick gasmask. Garu looked at the fresh blood. "No," he said. "NO! NOOOOO!!!" he shrieked.

"I'm here!" Gura yelled. "Mio peed in your garden, too!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

**What happens next? I guess the super battle starts, or something. But now I've got to think of the best Pucca FanFiction battle ever! Or at least enough to serve the majority of FanFicers. Keep reading my story! Bye! PEEEEEE!!!**


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